An old rock group "The Beach Boys" had a song where they sang
"Wouldn't it be nice?" They were talking about when two people finally
were older and could live together and get married, and how nice it
would be to wake up together, spend the whole day together and just be
together all the time.
A great vision of the future of a relationship, isn't it? And it's really true too, except when it isn't. Marriage can be hard work especially when the going gets tough, and you might even feel like leaving, or getting out of the marriage looks appealing.
But there was a reason you got together in the first place, and it can certainly be rekindled! Millions of couples have done it, and you can too.
Spend a little time not in the heat of emotions and figure out how things got that way, and what can be done to turn the marriage around. Generally it's much simpler and clearer than you think, if you'll approach it calmly and with clear intentions.
The number 1 thing to do right now is to forgive the past.
1. Forgive your partner and yourself
It's normal to have disagreements in marriage. Any time two lively people spend any significant time together, they will run into disagreements.
Do not think that this is a sign of problems or that your marriage is falling apart. I repeat, it's normal.
It's how you deal with disagreements, not whether you have them, that matters.
The biggest thing to remember is to forgive fast and not hold grudges. People say things they regret and then it's hard to take them back. Take it easy on your partner if he's said something stupid. Be kind, say you're sorry if you said something stupid, and move on.
Harbouring grudges never helped a single marriage in the history of the world.
2. Show respect and be honest.
It's very easy to become lazy in a marriage with your habits or care of one another.
Regularly say thank you and express your appreciation. This goes a long way.
I'm not saying you should bottle up problems. Those need to be brought up too, but in honest and respectful ways.
Think of what would preserve a friendship you have outside of the marriage. Respect, right? Show the same in your marriage.
3. Keep your sense of humor
Don't take yourself too seriously. Laugh at your little quirks. We all have them, and remember to warmly enjoy your unique personality and that of your spouse.
4. Communicate better and don't "read minds."
This is the #1 thing people say is needed in a marriage, but so few people actually do a good job of it.
Here's one of the most important tips I can give you: don't try to read your partner's mind or expect him to read yours.
Don't pout if he doesn't know exactly what you're thinking. Speak it out and ask him to do the same.
5. Make decisions together.
Here's a little rule of thumb. Any decision that involves $100 or more has to be done jointly. Sure, there are minor things that it's fine to do on your own, but anything that makes demands on your budget, time or energy need to be decided jointly.
Give in as much as you expect to be compromised with. Be careful about wanting to win too much.
Take turns being "right." Marriage isn't a competitive sport, it's a relationship after all.
6. Do the little things.
Remember to compliment one another.
Praise one another.
Give each other affection.
Do little things together and work on enjoying them.
7. Be always vigilant of your love.
Love is not just something you utter once and it's over with.
It needs daily practice, daily consciousness and daily care.
It has been said that people say I love you less often than they floss their teeth, and very few people do a good job of flossing their teeth.
8. Keep sex alive and well
Don't neglect sex, even when you feel tired or not in the mood. Make sure to make love as regularly as possible, and put your whole heart, mind and soul into it. It's one of the bonds that is most important in marriage.
It's not always easy being married. That's why so many marriages fail. But it can be deeply rewarding if you put a little effort into it on a regular basis.
Article Source:
http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Yasir_M_Chohan
A great vision of the future of a relationship, isn't it? And it's really true too, except when it isn't. Marriage can be hard work especially when the going gets tough, and you might even feel like leaving, or getting out of the marriage looks appealing.
But there was a reason you got together in the first place, and it can certainly be rekindled! Millions of couples have done it, and you can too.
Spend a little time not in the heat of emotions and figure out how things got that way, and what can be done to turn the marriage around. Generally it's much simpler and clearer than you think, if you'll approach it calmly and with clear intentions.
The number 1 thing to do right now is to forgive the past.
1. Forgive your partner and yourself
It's normal to have disagreements in marriage. Any time two lively people spend any significant time together, they will run into disagreements.
Do not think that this is a sign of problems or that your marriage is falling apart. I repeat, it's normal.
It's how you deal with disagreements, not whether you have them, that matters.
The biggest thing to remember is to forgive fast and not hold grudges. People say things they regret and then it's hard to take them back. Take it easy on your partner if he's said something stupid. Be kind, say you're sorry if you said something stupid, and move on.
Harbouring grudges never helped a single marriage in the history of the world.
2. Show respect and be honest.
It's very easy to become lazy in a marriage with your habits or care of one another.
Regularly say thank you and express your appreciation. This goes a long way.
I'm not saying you should bottle up problems. Those need to be brought up too, but in honest and respectful ways.
Think of what would preserve a friendship you have outside of the marriage. Respect, right? Show the same in your marriage.
3. Keep your sense of humor
Don't take yourself too seriously. Laugh at your little quirks. We all have them, and remember to warmly enjoy your unique personality and that of your spouse.
4. Communicate better and don't "read minds."
This is the #1 thing people say is needed in a marriage, but so few people actually do a good job of it.
Here's one of the most important tips I can give you: don't try to read your partner's mind or expect him to read yours.
Don't pout if he doesn't know exactly what you're thinking. Speak it out and ask him to do the same.
5. Make decisions together.
Here's a little rule of thumb. Any decision that involves $100 or more has to be done jointly. Sure, there are minor things that it's fine to do on your own, but anything that makes demands on your budget, time or energy need to be decided jointly.
Give in as much as you expect to be compromised with. Be careful about wanting to win too much.
Take turns being "right." Marriage isn't a competitive sport, it's a relationship after all.
6. Do the little things.
Remember to compliment one another.
Praise one another.
Give each other affection.
Do little things together and work on enjoying them.
7. Be always vigilant of your love.
Love is not just something you utter once and it's over with.
It needs daily practice, daily consciousness and daily care.
It has been said that people say I love you less often than they floss their teeth, and very few people do a good job of flossing their teeth.
8. Keep sex alive and well
Don't neglect sex, even when you feel tired or not in the mood. Make sure to make love as regularly as possible, and put your whole heart, mind and soul into it. It's one of the bonds that is most important in marriage.
It's not always easy being married. That's why so many marriages fail. But it can be deeply rewarding if you put a little effort into it on a regular basis.
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