Lessons In Forgiveness From Your Marriage Counseling Session

By Randi J. Jaffe


They say forgiveness is among the most difficult things to give, even in married couples. It calls for humility, understanding, acceptance, and even pride. A lot of times, it's the pride that hinders people to forgive and forget the hurts from the past. Forgiveness has two parts - letting go and moving on. It's not enough to say that you have forgiven your spouse, but then, deep inside you, you're still holding on and dwelling on the misgivings. Forgiveness can only be completed once you have learned to move on and forget the misgivings. In a marriage counseling session, you'll learn why it is difficult to forgive.

Condones a behavior

From a marriage counseling session, you will learn that another factor for unwillingness to forgive is the belief that forgiveness signifies that what your spouse did was okay. The aggrieved party must open up about the offense, talk about it and express that what your spouse did was not okay, yet you are willing to forgive and forget about it.

Lack of understanding

From a marriage counseling session, you will learn that another factor for unwillingness to forgive is the belief that forgiveness signifies that what your spouse did was okay. The aggrieved party must open up about the offense, talk about it and express that what your spouse did was not okay, yet you are willing to forgive and forget about it.

Guarantees

There are no guarantees in life. When you begin a relationship, you cannot be guaranteed that it would be successful and lead to an everlasting happiness. Life is not a fairy tale. It is a struggle and in order for a relationship to work, learn how to forgive your spouse. Keep in mind that if you forgive, it is not a guarantee that the behavior that led to a fight will not happen again.

Score-keeping

From a marriage counseling session, you will realize how at times, getting even is the response you offer to your spouse who has hurt you. Instead of focusing on forgiveness, you all the more add fuel to the flame by getting even.

Pride

There are no guarantees in life. When you begin a relationship, you cannot be guaranteed that it would be successful and lead to an everlasting happiness. Life is not a fairy tale. It is a struggle and in order for a relationship to work, learn how to forgive your spouse. Keep in mind that if you forgive, it is not a guarantee that the behavior that led to a fight will not happen again.

Power play

Stop playing "powerful" - a valuable lesson you could get from a marriage counseling session. It's difficult to give forgiveness because the aggrieved spouse thinks that if it's given, then you lose control over the offender. Most of the time, the offender finds ways on how to please the aggrieved spouse to be forgiven. Sometimes, this behavior leads to power play, so forgiveness is held back.

Humans will continue to commit mistakes and forgiveness should be given wholeheartedly for a marriage to survive and in marriage counseling therapy, you will be taught on how to be forgiving to each other.




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