A quick session of lovemaking due to the man's failure to control his desires can be very disappointing to a woman. No wonder that one of the most frequent searches on the web is for tricks to last longer in bed! A fast finish to a couple's lovemaking can deny the woman the emotional fulfilment which she gets from lovemaking. She will perhaps think that her partner either does not take her needs into account or that he is indifferent to her needs. And a man who reaches climax with no control often feels like he is unmasculine.
None of this is helpful for the relationship, especially if the topic is never openly discussed. Unfortunately, the fear and shame associated with sexual problems like this is huge, and the couple often continue on with this large subject continuing to erode respect and trust. If this seems familiar, you may wonder, what can be done? The good news is - you have the power to resolve this!
Step 1 - you should discuss it openly: in simple terms, this means you reveal how you feel. However, in reality our work proves as few as 10% of couples find it easy to talk about intimate problems. So, to help you reveal how you feel about sex, try these techniques to assist you:
1) Talk about your feelings - don't use the defense of blaming your other half. Being able to listen without judging means you'll get a lot less resistance - and your partner is likely to be a lot more willing to hear what you say without ending the discussion.
2) Don't think of your partner as being at fault - accepting that you are in this together is required for healing mutual distrust. Only when you are able to understand that your partner's emotions are a real response to the issues you face, and that they have a right to feel that way, can you begin to respect each other as you truly are.
3) Don't engage in self-blame. Putting things right is more constructive. This may involve getting the guidance of a therapist. Or it may mean actions as simple as reserving space each week to talk to your wife or husband about what is "up" for you.
4) If you have challenges opening up about intimate matters consider anything you wish to discuss in advance. Knowing what you want is vital in getting the attention of your lover. It's also useful to know what you will accept in any talk about sex. That way you will be very much more likely to keep your self-respect.
5) Be clear about how you feel. It's often challenging to have full awareness of what's causing our feelings, and it's possible you may only fully know the real issue as you talk about the problem. And, if you are clear what you would like to change, you are much more likely to get it. The more openly you reveal yourself, the more honestly you talk about what's going on for you, the more connected you will become as a couple.
Secondly, work together on a trusted self-help solution for treating male sexual dysfunction. There are several to choose from on the net and a quick search is often enough to discover one that is right for you. The important characteristics you should to look for are: genuine testimonials, a full money-back guarantee, and a reputable author. I have shown in more than 12 years' work men with sexual problems that self-help treatment programs are just as effective as clinical therapy for the majority of men, if they are highly motivated to change their sexual game.
None of this is helpful for the relationship, especially if the topic is never openly discussed. Unfortunately, the fear and shame associated with sexual problems like this is huge, and the couple often continue on with this large subject continuing to erode respect and trust. If this seems familiar, you may wonder, what can be done? The good news is - you have the power to resolve this!
Step 1 - you should discuss it openly: in simple terms, this means you reveal how you feel. However, in reality our work proves as few as 10% of couples find it easy to talk about intimate problems. So, to help you reveal how you feel about sex, try these techniques to assist you:
1) Talk about your feelings - don't use the defense of blaming your other half. Being able to listen without judging means you'll get a lot less resistance - and your partner is likely to be a lot more willing to hear what you say without ending the discussion.
2) Don't think of your partner as being at fault - accepting that you are in this together is required for healing mutual distrust. Only when you are able to understand that your partner's emotions are a real response to the issues you face, and that they have a right to feel that way, can you begin to respect each other as you truly are.
3) Don't engage in self-blame. Putting things right is more constructive. This may involve getting the guidance of a therapist. Or it may mean actions as simple as reserving space each week to talk to your wife or husband about what is "up" for you.
4) If you have challenges opening up about intimate matters consider anything you wish to discuss in advance. Knowing what you want is vital in getting the attention of your lover. It's also useful to know what you will accept in any talk about sex. That way you will be very much more likely to keep your self-respect.
5) Be clear about how you feel. It's often challenging to have full awareness of what's causing our feelings, and it's possible you may only fully know the real issue as you talk about the problem. And, if you are clear what you would like to change, you are much more likely to get it. The more openly you reveal yourself, the more honestly you talk about what's going on for you, the more connected you will become as a couple.
Secondly, work together on a trusted self-help solution for treating male sexual dysfunction. There are several to choose from on the net and a quick search is often enough to discover one that is right for you. The important characteristics you should to look for are: genuine testimonials, a full money-back guarantee, and a reputable author. I have shown in more than 12 years' work men with sexual problems that self-help treatment programs are just as effective as clinical therapy for the majority of men, if they are highly motivated to change their sexual game.
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