It is time to tell yourself the golden rule of getting over a
break up so you can build healthy relationships with other people.
Affirm and reaffirm to yourself, and internalize the belief, that you
want to get over your ex. Why is this important?
Let's put it this way. How often have you seen someone want to get over a break up yet they are resistant to actually breaking up with the person? It happens too often. You see them caught in the emotional turmoil, a tug-of-war game they can only lose.
What is even worse than being resistant to getting over the person, yet wanting to not get over them, is not being aware of the mental tug-of-war game. The internal conflict leaves you frustrated. You may think you have some weird psychological problem. You will be uncertain in getting back together as you unwilling move on and fail to fully enjoy life. When you want both lifestyles, you achieve neither. Commit to a decision.
If you have a choice of flying to one of Paris or Sydney, and you hesitate because you want to visit both cities, you will never make a decision. You will miss out on both cities. There is a Russian proverb that says, "If you chase two rabbits, you will not catch either one."
By not being 100% clear with what you want (this goes for every other goal in life), you will achieve nothing and remain frustrated. You become uncertain of yourself because you never critically think and investigate your feelings and thoughts to know your true desire. Understanding yourself is one of the most effective relationship skills you can develop - as ironic as that sounds.
You have to be certain of yourself and know what you want. Do not destroy the golden rule. Ask yourself questions and be fully aware of what is making you resistant to emotionally releasing yourself from the person. You can ask yourself questions like, "What makes me still attracted to the person?" "Why can't I get over him/her?" and "What do I like about the person?"
Discover what is causing you emotional pain. I cannot emphasize that enough. People are unconscious of their emotional awareness in a break up and never know why they experience pain. Conduct an "investigation" making it your goal to discover as much about yourself as possible. Gather as much information about yourself from self-talk and other people to solve "the crime". Be sure to keep learning skills to get over your relationship break up.
Let's put it this way. How often have you seen someone want to get over a break up yet they are resistant to actually breaking up with the person? It happens too often. You see them caught in the emotional turmoil, a tug-of-war game they can only lose.
What is even worse than being resistant to getting over the person, yet wanting to not get over them, is not being aware of the mental tug-of-war game. The internal conflict leaves you frustrated. You may think you have some weird psychological problem. You will be uncertain in getting back together as you unwilling move on and fail to fully enjoy life. When you want both lifestyles, you achieve neither. Commit to a decision.
If you have a choice of flying to one of Paris or Sydney, and you hesitate because you want to visit both cities, you will never make a decision. You will miss out on both cities. There is a Russian proverb that says, "If you chase two rabbits, you will not catch either one."
By not being 100% clear with what you want (this goes for every other goal in life), you will achieve nothing and remain frustrated. You become uncertain of yourself because you never critically think and investigate your feelings and thoughts to know your true desire. Understanding yourself is one of the most effective relationship skills you can develop - as ironic as that sounds.
You have to be certain of yourself and know what you want. Do not destroy the golden rule. Ask yourself questions and be fully aware of what is making you resistant to emotionally releasing yourself from the person. You can ask yourself questions like, "What makes me still attracted to the person?" "Why can't I get over him/her?" and "What do I like about the person?"
Discover what is causing you emotional pain. I cannot emphasize that enough. People are unconscious of their emotional awareness in a break up and never know why they experience pain. Conduct an "investigation" making it your goal to discover as much about yourself as possible. Gather as much information about yourself from self-talk and other people to solve "the crime". Be sure to keep learning skills to get over your relationship break up.
Download your free guide, "Get Over a Relationship Break Up", today so you can start feeling great - even if you broke up today.
Article Source:
http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Joshua_Uebergang
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