Most relationships reach a point when people have trouble communicating with each other. However these problems can be overcome and most tensions can be resolved by avoiding more destructive approaches and developing a healthier approach to discussion. Developing effective communication skills for couples can make all the difference and it is worth knowing how to learn them.
The first aspect is knowing that people are different. The way in which one person communicates will be different from another. This can often lead to misunderstanding. It is not necessarily a case of a man misunderstanding a woman it can also be as a result of a clash of personalities.
This can often be as a result of how families interact. You may have come from a family where you were expected to talk and discuss your day. While this may mean you are more open it can also mean that you may be more prone to being overly analytical or try too hard to get people to open up.
It is important to be open and discuss things as much as possible. Be clear and say what someone can do to improve the situation. Equally if they have concerns you have to listen to them as well. Some people say that compromise is important. However a compromise should not result in both halves of a couple resenting each other. Ideally both should look for a common solution that addresses their concerns and create a win win situation for both of them.
This is why you need to openly discuss any issues you may have. However there is a difference between open discussion and being overly honest. You should not resort to name calling or actively looking to seek blame for problems. This type of arguing will not lead to resolutions.
However this is an extreme circumstance. A lot of the time it is more about finding a common solution. This should not be confused with compromise which often results in neither half of a couple getting what they want. Finding common goals and solutions is better in the long term and this is something you should always strive for.
It is also important to remember that people are not born with perfect communication skills. Even people who think they are good listeners can become disillusioned if they are constantly expected to listen to problems without being able to unload themselves. The problem is that the people doing the unloading may not always realize this.
There are a number of experts and courses that can help you learn effective communication skills for couples. However while they can help guide you ultimately it requires effort from both halves of the partnership. With commitment you can improve and make it easier to develop your ability to communicate with each other.
The first aspect is knowing that people are different. The way in which one person communicates will be different from another. This can often lead to misunderstanding. It is not necessarily a case of a man misunderstanding a woman it can also be as a result of a clash of personalities.
This can often be as a result of how families interact. You may have come from a family where you were expected to talk and discuss your day. While this may mean you are more open it can also mean that you may be more prone to being overly analytical or try too hard to get people to open up.
It is important to be open and discuss things as much as possible. Be clear and say what someone can do to improve the situation. Equally if they have concerns you have to listen to them as well. Some people say that compromise is important. However a compromise should not result in both halves of a couple resenting each other. Ideally both should look for a common solution that addresses their concerns and create a win win situation for both of them.
This is why you need to openly discuss any issues you may have. However there is a difference between open discussion and being overly honest. You should not resort to name calling or actively looking to seek blame for problems. This type of arguing will not lead to resolutions.
However this is an extreme circumstance. A lot of the time it is more about finding a common solution. This should not be confused with compromise which often results in neither half of a couple getting what they want. Finding common goals and solutions is better in the long term and this is something you should always strive for.
It is also important to remember that people are not born with perfect communication skills. Even people who think they are good listeners can become disillusioned if they are constantly expected to listen to problems without being able to unload themselves. The problem is that the people doing the unloading may not always realize this.
There are a number of experts and courses that can help you learn effective communication skills for couples. However while they can help guide you ultimately it requires effort from both halves of the partnership. With commitment you can improve and make it easier to develop your ability to communicate with each other.
About the Author:
If you would like to learn about effective communication skills for couples, check out this link to www.howelldynamics.net. To purchase Howell Dynamic's New Book on Couples Anger Management, visit us online at http://www.howelldynamics.net now.
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