Well, it's not the pleasant part of a marriage, but unfortunately couples eventually run into marriage difficulties of some sort. Oh, they may be small and not very significant, or they may ramp into something that is much more serious. As we are having our problems, we are assuming that the perfect looking couple across the street actually has one of those perfect marriages. But nope, that's not the case. Those do not exist. But, be honest about your marriage. Has it gone beyond the simple arguments and you have begun to worry if your relationship s going to survive? Have you asked the question, "Do we need marriage counseling or couples therapy?"
Here are some questions to as yourself: Are the arguments and disagreements getting more frequent and more intense? Did you find that their is an increasing level of anger between you and your spouse? Are you having frustrating sexual difficulties that you haven't had before? Does it seem like you're beginning to live separate lives? Are you having thoughts of divorce? Or, maybe one or more partners are already seeking a divorce?
If you see that some of the above things sound like things that might be occurring in your marriage, then you are probably in a place to start considering a marriage counselor or couples therapy. Let me make 4 suggestions if I may.
1. Right now begin to admit that your marriage needs help. Couples tend to think that some of these things are just normal marital problems and they kind of shrug them off. They think that most couples are experiencing these types of problems and the rationalize it too long. Before long the situation gets worse and worse until the marriage becomes very hard to repair.
2. Go ahead and agree with your spouse that the fear of embarrassment will not stop you from taking steps to get help. It's okay. Many people seek counseling every day. You shouldn't be embarrassed by such a wise decision as getting marriage counseling. It's the smart thing. Plus, the people you might worry about finding out are usually having problems of their own that you don't know about! Don't let the fear of shame or being embarrassed you from a happy marriage.
3. Start looking around and doing some research to find the best possible help. There are many really good one on one counselors who are not very successful and are not as well trained in marriage counseling. So, do your due diligence and find that person who specializes in couples therapy and excels in that field. Many people will want to use a member of the clergy, and that is totally fine. Just make sure that the minister has a proper amount of experience and is qualified in marriage counseling. This step is important. Make sure that you select a good counselor or get access to some excellent resources to get the help you need. Also, there are some very good online resources that you might want to consider also.
Begin now. Don't procrastinate. Here are some last suggestions: A) Get yourself set up with a professional licensed therapist, or minister. B) It is in your best interest not to make any long term decisions about your marriage until the emotions have settled a bit. C) Remember that in the day and age of the internet there are some very good online resources in which you may take advantage. D) Don't give up and remember that there is much hope for you and your marriage! Certainly there are more complicated and difficult marriage issues such as abuse and mental illness that sometimes are not overcome. However, for thousands and thousands of couples, help is just a few steps and a bit of proper training away. Please know that there is a good chance that your marriage can survive and thrive. Go for nothing less than a happy and loving marriage! You deserve it.
Here are some questions to as yourself: Are the arguments and disagreements getting more frequent and more intense? Did you find that their is an increasing level of anger between you and your spouse? Are you having frustrating sexual difficulties that you haven't had before? Does it seem like you're beginning to live separate lives? Are you having thoughts of divorce? Or, maybe one or more partners are already seeking a divorce?
If you see that some of the above things sound like things that might be occurring in your marriage, then you are probably in a place to start considering a marriage counselor or couples therapy. Let me make 4 suggestions if I may.
1. Right now begin to admit that your marriage needs help. Couples tend to think that some of these things are just normal marital problems and they kind of shrug them off. They think that most couples are experiencing these types of problems and the rationalize it too long. Before long the situation gets worse and worse until the marriage becomes very hard to repair.
2. Go ahead and agree with your spouse that the fear of embarrassment will not stop you from taking steps to get help. It's okay. Many people seek counseling every day. You shouldn't be embarrassed by such a wise decision as getting marriage counseling. It's the smart thing. Plus, the people you might worry about finding out are usually having problems of their own that you don't know about! Don't let the fear of shame or being embarrassed you from a happy marriage.
3. Start looking around and doing some research to find the best possible help. There are many really good one on one counselors who are not very successful and are not as well trained in marriage counseling. So, do your due diligence and find that person who specializes in couples therapy and excels in that field. Many people will want to use a member of the clergy, and that is totally fine. Just make sure that the minister has a proper amount of experience and is qualified in marriage counseling. This step is important. Make sure that you select a good counselor or get access to some excellent resources to get the help you need. Also, there are some very good online resources that you might want to consider also.
Begin now. Don't procrastinate. Here are some last suggestions: A) Get yourself set up with a professional licensed therapist, or minister. B) It is in your best interest not to make any long term decisions about your marriage until the emotions have settled a bit. C) Remember that in the day and age of the internet there are some very good online resources in which you may take advantage. D) Don't give up and remember that there is much hope for you and your marriage! Certainly there are more complicated and difficult marriage issues such as abuse and mental illness that sometimes are not overcome. However, for thousands and thousands of couples, help is just a few steps and a bit of proper training away. Please know that there is a good chance that your marriage can survive and thrive. Go for nothing less than a happy and loving marriage! You deserve it.
About the Author:
Don't let your marriage end up in a divorce! Check out B. Gregory's website and learn marriage saving techniques and what to do about Couples Therapy. Read more on Marriage Counseling from Dema McCrae. YOu can save your marriage!
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