Marriage Counseling: Helping You With The Marriage You Would Like To Build

By Elaina P. Camp


Marriage counseling does not only help you find a way to save your failing marriage. It actually helps you build the sort of marriage that you want to have. The first thing that you have to do is to visualize the kind of marriage you want in your life. The way your marriage ran before may have caused problems to you and your partner, so it is best to know the things that you really want.

How do you know these things and build a marriage that you would like to have? Rather than complaining and nagging each other, the best way is to communicate and effectively say the things that you want the other person to understand. Listening plays an important role in this exercise so you have to follow the rules in marriage counseling. Don't blame, do not nag, make loving discussions, and talk about what is really going on.

The Qualities In Your Relationship

To rebuild your marriage, you have to know how you prioritize the qualities in your relationship. These qualities determine the kind of marriage a couple has. Since it will involve you and your partner, the qualities involved in your relationship will definitely have different priorities.

What are these qualities anyway? Here are some qualities and factors that you have to take care of in order to have the marriage that you want:

* Understanding each other * Praise and appreciation * Parenting agreement * Financial security * Fairness * Humor and excitement * Goals in life * Religious compatibility * Sex life * Interests you share * Friendship/Companionship * Physical attraction * Trust and honesty * Dependability * Courtesy and consideration * Mutual respect * Emotional support * Anger management * Family interaction * Acceptance

With the long list of the qualities in your relationship, it may take time to work out which one you prioritize the most. Well, rebuilding your marriage does not happen overnight so it is very important to take your time and ask yourself about your priorities. This is the only way for your marriage counseling to work.

Communicating With Your Partner

So, you took your time to know the qualities you prioritize in your marriage. What now? Now you begin communicating with one another. Take note that it does not include nagging or complaining about the past issues you have encountered that made the relationship sour.

Jot down the list of the priorities in your relationship and exchange it with your spouse's list. Now, you ought to have an idea about how your partner feels and how it differs to yours. These differences may have caused the problems in your relationship before that weren't addressed earlier. With communication, you and your partner can discuss about these differences in your marriage counseling program and rebuild your marriage.

There's a reason why you married your partner in the first place. Getting back to the foundation of your relationship will help your marriage a lot. In marriage counseling, you and your spouse will be able to do this in a systematic and healthy approach. Of course, you have to make certain that you follow the rules applied in the program to avoid more problems along the way.




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